..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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