mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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