I haven't been this sober since birth.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
