i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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