Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
