Kiss
Puke
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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