He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
