Even the bartender felt bad for me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your penis caused this!
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