I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
