if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
