It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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