The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
