i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
