But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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