shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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