my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Watching her eat just hurts me
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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