well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
