I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
