The maid of honor just puked.
Sponge bath it is.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
