margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
