I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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