I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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