So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
