I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
