no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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