Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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