So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
