Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
