i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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