I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize