I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
