He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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