Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
