Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
