i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
