So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize