I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
kristin has been a bad kristin
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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