roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
