i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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