yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
