How's work?
Spinning.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
