My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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