The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
