if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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