They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
