At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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