Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
