Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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