if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize