I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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