Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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