Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
