i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
