let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
