what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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