I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
