So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
