Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
