You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
