Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
