I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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