you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
