We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
