Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
