Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
