Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
